This is my new year’s resolution… be more positive! I realise in hindsight that I have spent a lot of my previous years pretty much having negative thoughts mainly about myself and as a consequence the world around me. I think it is about time to address this and think more positive as the more negative thoughts come into my head the more negative I feel about everything. I am a firm believer that we project into the world what we see within ourselves. So I will start by focusing on all the good things within myself… Hum, where do we start?
Don’t worry I won’t bore you with self-analysis. I think what I am trying to do is show that by beating ourselves up for the mistakes we make doesn’t get us very far, apart from further down. So the first thing to do is to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves a break. Funnily enough I say that to my patients every day… Do as I preach not as I do… The thing is most of the time we don’t even realise we are giving ourselves a hard time until someone brings it to our attention. That’s usually what friends and people who care about us are here for. This can prove difficult when you live on your own so the best thing to do is to treat ourselves as if we were our best friend 🙂
Now that sounds more promising. Would you treat your best friend the way you are treating yourself? How would they feel if you talk to them in the same way as you talk to yourself? Yes, that’s right, pretty down and useless. So what is the point? In order to survive we need to acknowledge the mistakes we have made, learn from them and forgive ourselves for making them as we probably didn’t have all the information we needed to make the right decision at that time. Now we have, so of course it is easier in hindsight to see where we went wrong. But this is in hindsight.
Of course this doesn’t involve hurting other people intentionally, as in that case there is absolutely no excuse. The best way to move on from this is to genuinely apologise to the person who suffered from it as a result. But they need to feel that you can actually feel their pain in order to forgive you, otherwise it might prove very difficult for them to move on. This is the key to any apology ladies and gentleman. Feel the pain you inflicted and genuinely apologise. If you don’t then just don’t bother and keep behaving inappropriately until you get kicked in the teeth yourself and get the idea of what pain feels like.